Wednesday, November 02, 2005

心靈雞湯式文章

在朋友的blog上看到以下forwarded message,回啊回的寫了一大段,寫完又想post在此"呃post"了:

請先看這段(該朋友的blog很私人,不便連結):
[A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old University of Notre Dame lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -- porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said:

"If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."

"Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."]

我的回應:
"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."
這句很有問題,把人生及物質強行二分化(必要/不重要, 深入/膚淺),人生是包括很多特質的,心靈滿足與很多"外部物質"有密不可分的關係,為什麼要把 "want only the best for yourselves"傾向否定?
例如:
1,強健身體對強健精神(一般健康就夠了,本人並非指要強壯如牛)
2,事業上所帶來的滿足,對前景的希望(並非指名與利,而是自我認同)
3,金錢所帶來的安全感(指的是在"賺夠"的情況下)
4,人際關係(不需相識滿天下或得傑青,能找到相投的朋友,得人認同才能或性格亦是自我價值的一環)

"Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."-道理很易明,但很強的人才能到達全情投入的境界,如有人問昂山素姫對犧牲家庭去支持民主有沒有遺憾,她說:這是自已所選擇的,最重要的理想,所以外人所言的"犧牲"對她來說根本不是"犧牲"。

套句日本式語言:要有所覺悟,才能勇往直前。

所以,為什麼不能在生活富足時吐苦水呢?能吐苦水證明仍有進步、反省,甚至選擇退一步的空間,證明生活正常,且仍有轉機,只要不是吐得太過份,要求太貪婪,complaints about stress in work and life只是正常發洩。

恕我直言,這種心靈雞湯式文章陳意過高,簡化人或事為"二元對立"的特質太強,不值多看。

給哪位朋友:不努力也可以,要爭取也可以,吐苦水也可以,平常心和激情也可共存的("有所覺悟"本身已是平靜中飽含激情),不必憂心,做你喜歡做的事吧!

延伸閱讀:
思存:記憶回收筒 - 所謂策略
剛寫了這篇post,再看到思存的文章,也把「面對現實」和「逃避現實」搞糊塗了。編輯了在哪裡留的comment post上來:

[精神與肉體、物質、欲望不是應該互為表裡互相影響的嗎?要有大智慧,才能不在乎其他。

但其實在"半死不活"的情況下,我們依然可選擇反抗,努力鳴不平至不能承受的後果出現前。(或許這也是陳意過高,對真的沒有選擇的人,至少要寄予同情,不幫也不用"踩多一腳")

在還有條件時,我們要學習的,是要選擇,不要被太多不必要的"現實需要"絆着而寸步難行。]

7 comments:

Regina said...

哎哎,我也可以很溫情的(沾沾自喜中)

- 咦?其實有90%在淋泠水啊(速逃)

阿角 said...

看了你在我blog的一大段,REGINA 係得既!所以我說你是「可親可敬的知識份子」。

Regina said...

賞面賞面!(流汗中...)

鳳凰藍 said...

無獨有偶,我今天在電台聽了黃桂林一段講的甚麼做人處世、與人相處技巧……他說最重要是保持心身平靜,對人對事都要多從正面去想……少投訴,少動氣,總要積極地做人……這樣對你的人生才有幫助云云……我第一個反應就是如果人人的情緒都是這樣地平靜,第一個失業的就是他。

Regina said...

沒有情緒,就不是人了,文中所提的昂山素姫,在平靜嫻雅中就有如天如地的激情。(這是"有所覺悟"的至高境界。)

所謂要人"切除"某類情緒就是"正面",這種自欺欺人的論述真是害人不淺,"少"這個哪個的,又不是練古墓派武功,要守"十二少"要訣...

The dog and a blog said...

所以總覺得那一些stress management課程很賺錢,說一些聽起來「係wor係wor」的道理談可容易,針始終「吉」入肉才知道有多痛。阿媽之前同你講唔痛架,個個同學都係0甘樣打架啦,但老實說真是很痛wor,痛又沒罪,stress也是人應有的情緒。

你可以選擇回鄉下farming,沒有0甘多stress,不過你想去日本shopping?去歐洲shopping,想下好了。小狗亂吠,請勿見怪。

思存 said...

我寫完那篇後也剛好看了你的 :)

我在想, 其實人們說"現實不能改變"之時, 可能是覺得, 現實根本沒有甚麼問題, 有沒有條件改變還不是主因...